What are self-esteem building parents like?

The list provided below displays typical behavioral patterns of successful self-esteem building parents. By consulting it, you can determine how close to or far away from the ideal self-esteem builder you are right now. The more of the exhibited behaviors apply to you, the more likely it is that you will succeed in building your child’s self-confidence.

The main features of self-esteem building parents are:

• They frequently say to their children not only "I love you" but also "I like you because…";
• They never patronize their children;
• They use a language that can be easily followed and understood;
• They listen attentively to their children’s stories, fantasies, troubles, questions, no matter how incoherent these may seem;
• They encourage every demonstration of their children’s aptitudes or qualities, no matter how different from their own these are;
• They meet each child’s needs in an individual manner;
• They use a discipline-based approach mostly when it comes to rewards;
• They encourage each child’s own individuality to surface;
• They can always find time for their child or children;
• They give lots of hugs and kisses;
• They encourage kids to look after themselves, teach them life skills for an independent living;
• They give their kids appropriate tasks around the house;
• They praise the child’s effort, improvements and accomplishments;
• They provide emotional support for their child’s disappointments and grief;
• They ask for their child’s opinion and listen to it, no matter how different from their own it might be;
• They let their kids express feelings freely;
• They demonstrate their trust by letting kids take some calculated risks and learn from their mistakes;
• They do not pretend to be always right and know everything; they rather say "I don’t know" and "I am sorry".

Books on self-esteem